Halcyon Dreams
by Miss Quartermain
Summary: Years after the events of Goodbye Halcyon, Titania is still plagued by dreams of what could have been.  Part 2 in the Halcyon Tales.


This is dedicated to Cherryhobbit on Deviantart!

The room was almost completely dark, the only light coming from a few candles that were nearly extinguished, but the darkness did not trouble Titania. While she was more comfortable in the daylight or by a lit fire, the Faerie Queen had no fear of darkness. Particularly not when she had company in her bed, as she did now.

She could feel the heat of the second body against her back, the weight of a strong arm around her waist, and the stirring of air against her neck as her partner breathed deeply. It was the breathing of one fast asleep, and she could not help but smile at how peaceful it sounded. Turning over so that she was facing her lover, Titania softly reached over to trail her fingers down a strong jaw, possessed of character and power. Her fingers slowly made their way towards the man's lips.

As if he could sense how much she wished him to do so, her lover gently kissed her fingertips, his eyes reflecting the light of the low-burning candles around the bedchamber. Even in the almost non-existent light, she could see that the man holding her was truly handsome. He was not as handsome as a Greek god, as seemed to be the ideal to some women, but he had his own form of beauty. His features were sharp, square, and chiseled. An almost predatory intelligence lighted his cold eyes, and it made Titania, a woman who had stood before gods and kings alike, weak at the knees to see. What this man did to her thousands before him had tried to accomplish. All had failed until now.

How was it that this one man, this one individual, could render her incoherent and weak with longing while none before him had been able to? Titania had no answer for this, nor did she really desire an answer. All she wanted was for him to remain with her, loving her and making her feel so whole she could burst.

Once more it seemed as though her companion sensed her desires, as he pulled her tight against his chest, his grip strong and possessive, but not smothering. It was almost…tender and sweet, if a possessive embrace could be so. Smiling in satisfaction, Titania kissed her lover. This was not the shy kiss of first love, but the passionate show of mutual desire and respect. Their lips dueled and danced as she wrapped her arms around him, keeping her lover close to her chest, unwilling to part from him.

When they finally were forced apart due to lack of air, Titania nuzzled her lover fondly, simply enjoying the feel of his arms and the sound of his heartbeat. In the back of her mind, and in the deepest corner of her heart, she seemed to know that this man holding her should not be here. His arms were not supposed to hold her so tenderly, his heart should not be beating so strongly, and they should not be lying together. Not because it was morally wrong…but because he was not supposed to be alive.

She hastily pushed that thought aside, almost growling in frustration. No. Her love was here, and he was real. She would not doubt the reality of this man in her arms. She _could not_ doubt it. Closing her eyes tight, Titania clung to her lover and fought back the doubts.

"What is it, my dear?" His voice was as strong as his body, filled with confidence and intelligence.

"Nothing…nothing," she said in a quiet voice, simply breathing him in and soaking in his presence. "Just…old doubts and fears resurfacing in the dark."

He kissed her forehead, softly stroking her long red hair. "I will keep them away, my Titania," he said tenderly.

Shivers of mingled doubt and pleasure rushed through her spine and Titania nodded. "I know you will, Halcyon…"

Titania woke with bitter tears in her eyes and no second body in her bed. Burying her face in her pillow, she growled in pain and anger. Why? Why could such a thing have not happened?

Because it was her fault. She should have fixed this long ago. It was easily within her power! She could have mended Halcyon's body and health, given him youth as he had once enjoyed, perhaps even an eternity of that youth. An eternity that, she had once hoped, could be spent by her side. She had almost given it to him, too. That night, so long ago now, when their grandson had been born and Oberon had come to her.

But she had been foolish. She had used her powers, not to help, but to hurt her family. She had lied, cheated, manipulated, and toyed with them as though they were her pawns in a sick form of chess. And then she had been a coward. Too afraid to face the one man who had ever truly held her heart—while Oberon had been the first and strongest at holding her attention—she had fled to Avalon and only returned once, when she knew he was dying. Even then, she held back on the offer to let him live. He had forgiven her, yes, but Titania knew her Halcyon. He was too proud to let her save him from the brink of death with magic. It would have been too degrading for him.

And so she was alone, in her bed, with nothing by taunting dreams to keep her company. "And well I deserve it," she growled to herself. "You brought this upon yourself, Titania."

Never before had she been so brutally honest with herself. So she rolled over once again and tried to seek solace in sleep.

She never found that peace.


End file.
